Think Like A Monk #9 What Is Your Motivation?(Fear, Desire, Duty or Love?)

2021-11-26·27 分

概要

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?本集內容
Chapter 4 Intention
p. 65

“In our heads we have an image of an ideal life: our relationships, how we spend our time in work and leisure, what we want to achieve. “

“Even without the noise of external influences, certain goals captivate us, and we design our lives around achieving them because we think they will make us happy. “

“But now we will figure out what drives these ambitions, whether they are likely to make us truly happy, and whether happiness is even the right target.”

p.66

“As we walk, the senior monk mentions the achievements of some of the monks we pass.”

“He points out one who can meditate for eight hours straight.”

“A few minutes later he gestures to another: ”

“He fasts for seven days in a row.”

“Further along, he points.”

“Do you see the man sitting under that tree? He can recite every verse from the scripture.”

“Impressed, I say,”

“I wish I could do that.”

“The monk pauses and turns to look at me. He asks,”

“Do you wish you could do that, or do you wish you could learn to do that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know by now that some of my favorite lessons come not in the classroom, but in moments like this.”

“He says,”

“Think about your motivations.”

“Do you want to memorize all of the scripture because it’s an impressive achievement, or do you want the experience of having studied it?”

“In the first, all you want is the outcome.”

“In the second, you are curious about what you might learn from the process.”
------
“This was a new concept for me, and it blew my mind.”

“Desiring an outcome had always seemed reasonable to me.”

“The monk was telling me to question why I wanted to do what was necessary to reach that outcome.”

The Four Motivations

“Fear- being driven by sickness, poverty, fear of hell or fear of death.”

“Desire- seeking personal gratification through success, wealth, and pleasure.”

“Duty- motivated by gratitude, responsibility, and the desire to do the right thing.”

“Love- compelled by care for others and the urge to help them.”

“These four motivations drive everything we do.”

“We make choices, for example, because we’re scared of losing our job, wanting to win the admiration of our friends, hoping to fulfill our parents’ expectations, or wanting to help others live a better life.”

Fear Is Not Sustainable

“The problem with fear is that it’s not sustainable.”

“When we operate in fear for a long time, we can’t work to the best of our abilities.”

“We are too worried about getting the wrong result.”

“We become frantic or paralyzed and are unable to evaluate our situations objectively or to take risks.”

The Maya of Success

“The second motivation is desire.”

“This is when we chase personal gratification.”

“Our path to adventures, pleasures, and comforts often takes the form of material goals.”

“I want a million-dollar home.”

“I want financial freedom.”

“I want an amazing wedding.”

p.68
“When I ask people to write down their goals, they often give answers describing what most people think of as success.”

“We think that success equals happiness, but this idea is an illusion.”

“The Sanskrit word for illusion is Maya, which means believing in that which is not.”

“When we let achievements and acquisitions determine our course, we’re living in the illusion that happiness comes from external measures of success, but all too often we find that when we finally get what we want, when we find success, it doesn’t lead to happiness.”

“Jim Carrey once said,”

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

“The illusion of success is tied not just to income and acquisitions but to achievements like becoming a doctor or getting a promotion or …. Memorizing the scriptures.”

“My desire in the story above- to be able to recite every verse from the scripture - is the monk’s version of material desire.”

“Like all of these “wants,” my ambition was centered around an external outcome- being as impressively learned as that other monk.”

p.69

“We all know this already: We see wealthy and/or famous people who seem to “have it all,” but who have bad relationships or suffer from depression, and it’s obvious that success didn’t bring them happiness.”

“Material gratification is external, but happiness is internal.”

p.70

“While generally American incomes have risen since 2005, our happiness has fallen, in part because of social factors like declining trust in the government and our fellow Americans, and weaker social networks.”

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