孩子的挑戰

2020-12-07·9 分鐘

本集介紹

Dreikurs, Rudolf, and Vicki Soltz. Children: The Challenge. Plume Books, 1992.
魯道夫·德瑞克斯。《孩子的挑戰》。周昱秀譯。書泉出版社。2012。

競爭的家庭與社會:
爭權、權威、權力、壓迫 (authority),爭地位、爭第一 (competition),爭寵、反抗、反感、抗議 (protest),要求、強求 (request),惱怒、憤怒、生氣、大吼 (anger),懲罰、哭鬧、搗蛋 (punishment),責罵、批評、錯誤、糾正 (criticism),受挫、氣餒、沮喪 (frustration)

愛的家庭與社會:
安全、歸屬感、和諧、尊重、重視 (respect, safety),勇氣、信心、自足 (courage),關心、鼓勵、讚美 (care, praise),積極、合作、成就、榮耀 (cooperation),開心、快樂、微笑、愉快 (happiness),愛、友善、感激 (love)

My Mother
My mother, 朱楊橪珍, died in 2019, aged 88, was a housewife when she got married to my father. She was kind, generous, was always willing to help others and was happy all the time in her life. She gave birth to two daughters, my younger sister and I. I remember in my childhood, she once said that she swore not to have corporal punishment to her two daughters. Because she suffered much in her youth when her own mother beat her, she wouldn’t repeat that painful experiences again in her married life. The fact is that through the process of our growth, my sister and I behaved ourselves well all along without my mother’s severe punishment. Besides, in our family, my mother never showed her authoritative power to force us or oppress us to listen to her without any comments. She even never showed her harsh criticism to us.
Further, in my memory, my mother would not compare our sisters’ any kinds of academic achievements with other neighbors, relatives and friends. Even though she was very proud of me and my sister for certain outstanding performances, such as getting the first prizes for the subjects’ scores in schools, entering the Kaohsiung First Girl’s High School, and enrolling the good departments in the national universities, she would not praise us in public. On the contrary, she was so humble to compliment others in front of us. We could not be so flattered.
When my sister and I got married, she treated her sons-in-law so well and even took care of her grandson and granddaughters day and night without any complains. She respected our choices of marriages and fully supported daily chores of us in order to let us work hard without worries. She prepared meals and gave good suggestions to solve our problems.
My mother is a very good example to show her love in the family. She loves and cares our family members without limitations. She respects us and offers sense of safety and belongingness to us. She always praises and encourages us to do different kinds of things with freedom of choices. She is not scolding us to make mistakes. Instead, she is willing to help us and cooperate with us to finish necessary events. She is always happy and cheerful to get along well with us, and try her best to deal with difficulties as much as possible. Actually, she is earned her esteem by her relatives and friends. She is also very unselfish and open-minded toward varieties of people around her. Especially, her neighbors like to make friends with her very much. I do admire her and I learn a lot from her. Although she didn’t receive high education from schools, I regard her as my best role model in my life, and I appreciate her wonderful personality and sincere kindness deeply. I really miss my mom so much. Without her, I cannot be a better person in my whole life.


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